Day #270 - Jesus

What's in a name? When you name your child you really need to consider what reaction that could cause in other people and in your child.

Jesus Juan Pablo Villalobos Sanchez was the perfect argument, whilst he had very strong names given to him at birth his mother insisted on focusing on one name only, his first. She'd tell him how Jesus was the son of God and he led the people of his time because his father would give him instructions. By the time Jesus was 12 he was able to identify with his namesake. He would hear a voice in his head telling him to perform certain actions, of course to him, this was the voice of God.

When he was 15 he killed a dog because God told him to.

When he was 17 he killed a homeless man under instruction from God.

Jesus kept killing but he never got caught.

And nobody ever suspected anything.

Mainly because Jesus never had any remorse nor could he see that he'd done anything wrong.

This was his life.

And he bowled.

Oh, how he loved to bowl, most people had dream jobs or dream lives, all Jesus ever longed for was to bowl.

His dream was to own the largest bowling alley in the world. Along with 525 lanes it would have the world's largest video arcade and popcorn machine.

Okay, it was a pretty stupid dream but God kept telling him to dream it, he worked night and day on his designs, logging patents for new ball polishers, lighting creations and even some virtual pin technology.

He worked out that he would need about $240M to make his dream a reality so when his distant cousin turned up unannounced with a number of bags packed to the brim with 10000 dollar bills, (100 dollar bills seemed like small change nowadays) God sent him a message.

So that night once his cousin went to bed Jesus went to the cupboard and took out the Katana that his friend Hideo had given him for Christmas, with one foul swoop he removed his cousin's head and with that his bowling alley project began.

Jesus and God made a beautiful bowling alley but when you make something that big in Vegas some people will be watching you, especially when a number of contractors go 'missing' whilst working on the project.

It was a Wednesday morning 3:55am to be precise when a lone elderly Japanese gentleman entered the alley, there were a few prostitutes and college boys bowling in about 10 lanes but apart from that the place was pretty empty, Jesus was in his favourite place behind the shoe hire counter refreshing his stock's odour levels when the elderley Japanese approached him.

Jesus (with God in his ear) quickly focused their attention onto him, noting that he had only Jesus in his sights. Before Jesus could utter the phrase "What the fuck do you want?" the elderly Japanese man removed a Wakazashi from his suit jacket and removed Jesus' head.

He muttered something about disgrace, returned his weapon to its sheath, placed it back in his jacket in one swift movement and then quietly left the establishment.